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Makande on Pope Francis

The reaction of the enemies of our mighty party was expected.  We have apologised, not because we were wrong but upon reflection we realised we had touched a live Escom wire.

However, deep in their throats, our enemies know that our Hophmally Makande was right and drove the point home. The Holy father and leader of the Catholic faith worldwide, Pope Francis, was born in 1936 and he is now 82 years old. If at 78 years of age our agile and adorable president is old, Pope Francis, our holy father, is older. You don’t need the services of a Steve Hawkins, to conclude thus.   This is a basic scientific fact unless being old is now reserved for politicians only.

Furthermore, in this country a youth is a person aged between 10 and 35 years. This makes the majority of the leaders in the insult-filled baby movement, old people although they trade themselves babies.  The leader of the toddler movement is old. So, are the members of his choir. To call our president too old, madala, opanda nkhope, is an insult because it entails that our president is useless. We will not sit phwii smiling at such insults. Not us.

For a long time now, we have tried to reason with the babies in the baby movement that it requires wisdom to be a leader of a multi-age, multi-faith, multi-sex, multi-gender, multi-race, multi-language, multi-ideology, multi-tribe and multi-region society. This is why Section 31 of our national constitution that our successful president and the leader of the baby movement swore not only bans but also criminalises any form of discrimination.  We gratuitously republish here that section of the supreme law of this beautiful but pillaged nation. It says:

(1) The law shall prohibit any discrimination and shall guarantee to all persons equal and effective protection against discrimination on grounds such as: race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, nationality, ethnic or social origin, disability, property, birth or other status.

(2) Legislation may be passed addressing inequalities in society and prohibiting discriminatory practices and the propagation of such practices and may render such practices criminally punishable by the courts.

With the Pope reference, we deliberately went into overdrive to illustrate to our detractors how it feels for political teenagers to ridicule, drag in the dirty mud, and simply defame our impeccable and performance-oriented, and most successful president.

Our baby competitors are driving on the roads our president and party have built or overhauled; enjoy the fruits of a buoyant economy our president has worked hard to rectify after Cashgate; and they enjoy the freedom from political persecution because our president has set the standards for a genuinely free and liberal democratic space.

Instead of displaying and slinging catapults, the leader of the toddler movement should learn to discipline his foulmouthed political failures around him. By the way, the catapult is a weapon of mass destruction, ask night guards and watchmen.  Ask any Christian, and you will learn what the catapult did to Goliath.  We will, in fact, very soon introduce a law in parliament classifying the catapult as one of the weapons requiring police clearance and licence to use.

We appreciate that our Catholic Christian brothers and sisters have accepted our apology. We hope our Catholic faith leaders will call aside the leader the baby movement and his choir to refrain from engaging in singing dirty hosannas on their political podiums banking the support of the holy church. The Catholic church cannot be hoodwinked into blindly supporting a person who constructively resigned his elected job but still gets paid as Malawi’s second in command.

The 2019 election is about ideas for developing and making Malawi a better and more prosperous nation. Our ideas are good and achievable. Let our baby enemies come forward with theirs. Each time we hear them say, “We don’t want our exams to leak!” we know they have nothing to take them into government. Have they? n

 

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